whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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