Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
