YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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