At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He did a backflip because drugs
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
