Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Sorry about my life...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
