Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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