i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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