we have officially lost it.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Let's get the cat blown out
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
