I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i would punch a child for taco bell
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
