this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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