Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
