Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
