this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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