i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
