i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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