that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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