There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
