that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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