Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
