three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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