I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
