Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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