That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
