why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
