I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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