she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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