everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
