it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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