Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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