A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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