My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
