just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
try to milk me bitch
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
