i think my mom watched the whole time
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
