It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
