Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
