I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Randomize
