But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
