That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
