I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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