the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
