It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
