im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
