i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
