i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
