Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
