she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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