So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
