remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
