Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
