Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
