the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
